So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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