how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
