Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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