I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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