it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize