hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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