did you get engaged???
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
