The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
