I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize