Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize