Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Panties = found
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
