Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
