By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
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