The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
