you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize