I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You pole danced in your parka.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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