it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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