i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
