I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize