Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
