I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I wish you could order shots online.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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