Whod you bang
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
