Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize