After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
