I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
