Quick, to the slutcave!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
