she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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