remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
