where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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