Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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