She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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