with your own penis?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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