This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
