i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
