if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
