I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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