she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Two words: nipple clamps
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