It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
