whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
