I molested 6 butterflies tonight
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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