i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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