You smell like stripper and shame
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
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