We're facebook friends in real life
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
