just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
