This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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