i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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