who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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