I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
