spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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