omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
