Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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