Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
