gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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