i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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