no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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