Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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