i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
