You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
