Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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