I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
