I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
