dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
