I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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