i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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