She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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