1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
