i don't like sucking hair
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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