Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
