Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
