when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
