I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize