She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
