I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
