Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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